Sunday, April 27, 2008

a cautionary tale rest = guilt, something is not right

it's one thing to feel tired and i do frequently.  as of late though i've felt nothing short of exhaustion each and everyday.  

why?  i work a lot, travel frequently, work intensely for long hours, have very little time off and put forth 100% in everything i do.  sound like a time bomb?  well it feels so.  warning will robinson warning.

it's been a good two months now where i've noticed a considerable daily weight of exhaustion.  and of late, i've noticed moments where i feel asthmatic, working for breath which has never been a problem for me.  i have contracted frequent head aches.  my muscles ache, my back and ankle especially ache and my body feels heavy, especially my upper torso.  

i did have a chance to sleep in this morning but upon waking, i still feel exhausted and weighty.  it does not feel like an all and all out cold.  it feels more as if i am swimming against the tide, a feeling i tend not to be a fan of.  i don't like for anything to slow me down but i'm beginning to wonder if there might be more to this.  

i've considered visiting a doctor, probably should, though doctor visits and me often include the term stubborn and resistant.  even now, i sit here and my eye lids are heavy, my chest a bit tight and my body in a low state of ache.  i know somehow this could get quite serious if i do not take action in the now.

this is not me, this constantly sleepy person.  i am invincible! or am i...

maybe the long burn has run it's course.  maybe hippy chick you need to chill.  not for a day but for several.  sleep deprivation has been touted as damaging by many.  i imagine sleep deprivation to be part of the issue.  guess you can't gain the energy back in one short night of sleep.  

i know i should rest, my brain tells me so.  but for me, rest often equals guilt.  it's a terrible circle but one i think i must cut through or face a rather worse future.  so folks i'm checking in to the rest at home nap zone today (or do the best that i can manage to) putting best foot forward toward recovery because in fact i do feel like i'm going to fall over at any moment.  

good news is that it's a rainy day.  the patter on the roof might just help me doze off and the light quality is perfect for drifting. 

moral of the story -   an overworked soul weighs heavy - rest, sleep and enjoy life.

working towards the soulful, superchica, hippy chick. till tomorrow - good rest and good happiness to all.

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