sometimes i wonder if i should have titled this blog crazed work-a-holic desperately in search of an adventure to sustainable happiness. it seems the work keeps coming and i stay awake to get it done. some call this success, i call it insane.
sure, sure, it's nice to be liked. and sure i am one who enjoys to busier than most but there is a such thing as too busy and i'm there and i've been there for a long while now and i'd like a bit of a slow down but that does not seem to be in sight at present.
this has a whole lot to do with the fact that i'm a tenure track professor and a working professional designer all at once. and baby that's the rules these days at least at ut austin. the bar has been raised and to gain that long term job security you have got to be one of the best out there in whatever field you specialize in which means teaching and additional outside work if you're a creative type or teaching and writing and publishing a truly kick booty book. i'm of the first type but i assure you either route is a tricky load to balance.
so here i am trying to make time ends meet. paying dues and the dues is high. granted the dues is high because my own self imposed standards are quite high. i do not believe in half efforts. my theory, if you're not going to go all the way then why bother go at all? so i do nothing half way, save for sleep, rest and take care of my own body in the way that i should. at least, i cook for myself, grow my own food and eat healthy, that's pretty good. i could regularly use more rest but i do possess and uncanny endurance that serves me well in times like these.
so i'm spending the night in the office. working until class tomorrow at 11am. i'll get a lot done. i'll be sleepy tomorrow but i'll hit deadlines and then i hope a bit of the tension will lift. no need to carry this around any long than i have to.
advice (even though i no right to give it)
don't do what i do - it costs - if you can go to bed - i'm not a hero, i'm tired.